Dear Baby

    Where do I begin? I'm still in shock that you are growing inside me, it blows my mind to think how small (size of a lentil bean!) you are. Crazy right!! Your studly pops and I having been planning for you for a while. For the last year or so we decided that we were ready for a little nelson. We weren't sure when the "right" time was, but we knew we needed to be prepared (insurance, steady jobs, money, etc...) Finally Matthew's job told him to be expecting insurance by July or August. I was ecstatic! I didn't even want to wait for the stupid insurance to start trying for you..I couldn't wait! Your dad had another plan in mind, he wanted to be responsible and wait for the insurance to kick in so we were sure we would have it. So responsible he is. That's why I love him. So the minute we got the beloved insurance I stocked up on baby apps, ovulation tests, and any other research I could do on conceiving! I had it down to a science ;) I was determined to have you. The first month of trying past by with bad news, no baby. I was definitely depressed by the news. Second month came along and I was so nervous and anxious to find out. Was I pregnant? I didn't feel "not" pregnant...but did I feel pregnant? I wasn't sure! I was trying to not get my hopes up but I couldn't help it.

    After my college classes on an early Tuesday morning, I secretly went to my doctors office. It was the first day I was able to test and see if I was pregnant. As I sat in the doctors office patiently waiting for the nurse to deliver the nerve racking news I started to get knots in my stomach. Fifteen minutes passed. I couldn't believe it was taking so long! I knew that had to mean bad news. I almost didn't want to know anymore. I couldn't handle another, NO. The nurse called my name and walked me down to a back room. "This must be the room where they give horrible news to people" is all I kept thinking. I tried to peek around the nurse as she walked to see if I could see the results. No such luck. As she closed the door, she told me that she had been crossing her fingers for me and that I was.......PREGNANT. What? No way! I couldn't believe it. I asked her if she was sure. She handed me the test and I saw two little lines. I started to weep like a little girl. Even though we had only been trying for you for a short while, I felt like I had waited ages for you.